guilt?
May 11, 2007
I’ve thinking a lot about my Bodhisattva vows lately. It really makes me question whether or not I could be doing more to help others. The intention to help others is the backbone of my practice. It keeps me motivated and energized to practice as deeply as I can. Yet, I still feel like I could give more. I wonder is this guilt or is this an example of the paramita of energy/motivation?
There are so many stories of sages chopping their arms off and licking maggot infested dogs. And yet I am killing of the ants in my kitchen and scheming to depopulate the mosquitoes in my backyard.
Sounds like the virya paramita to me. Effortless effort is said to arise from devotion to the teachings and seeing the suffering of others with a tender heart. The feeling of guilt to me suggests a genuine heart stretching itself to offer its highest good which can be scary.
I’ve been having some issues with guilt lately as well. It’s a hard thing to overcome, but we are not perfect and can’t let these things get to us. I admire you for taking the Bodhisattva Vows, hopefully someday I will be able to do the same.
I think always acting with a truly good heart within the realm of your natural circumstances is more than enough – and is a very big task in itself. That said, evaluating & thinking about ways to help more in those same circumstances can only be a wonderful thing. Think logically, decide & act – guilt might have no purpose here, however.
The actions don’t have to be ‘big’ – the motivation lies at the heart & centre of everything.
I wish you the best!