Discontent

Discontent is often on my mind, or often is my mind.  This story  of “should be” never seems to stop.  One day during walking meditation I started talking to myself about feeling the carpet, right foot left foot, whatever, and contentment jumped in there somewhere.  Contentment asked “Do you ever just walk?” I realized that if I could let go of the voice of the teqnique coach that I would still be walking, simply walking.  I realized that the coaches voice was an expression of my own dicontent.  So I walked. My heart broke as gentleness let my mind rest on the walking.  My heart broke as the one thing that I was using to make myself good enough was released.  Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche says in the Sacred Path of the Warrior that the present is experienced through a tender heart.  Now, returning to work from vacation discontent rears its head all around.  So I’m challenged to let go of my discontent and rest like a tiger sitting in the warmth of the Great Eastern Sun.