Precious Human Birth

This week I have been using the first reminder,  precious human birth, in contemplative practice.  I was thinking about the sanity that has emerged in my life since I came in contact with the dharma.  A Bodhisattva makes a vow to be reborn until all sentient beings attain liberation, until the dharma reaches me and you and we choose to start the path.  These teachings have come to me on a great wave of love and compassion through the lineage.  The people of Tibet have been scattered across the globe and look at how openly they give us the heritage that they love so.  In light of this precious situation it is my aspiration to let go of my agression and let the dharma find a deeper place in my body, speech, and mind.

Space

Yesterday I was reading a transcribed talk by Dzigar Kongtrul and it hit me pretty hard so I thought I would share.  He says that we should meet our reactions and their fruition with awareness.  Seeing the way we behave with humor and gentleness creates space between us and our habitual patterns.  He emphasizes that we shouldn’t take a puritanical approach and say that samsara is bad.  Giving samsara a name like “bad” or “unpleasant” or even “joyful” is conceptual, thus we make some personal investment in samsara and use samsara’s suffering to confirm our own existence.  I think my fundamentalist upbringing makes this approach a deeply ingraned pattern of self-aggression that I constantly have to work with. There are many times that I start evaluating myself and putting all kinds of labels on parts of my experience, but the label actually denies the basic goodness that lies beneath that particular experience.  Lonliness is a common label that I use. Being alone is a universal aspect of the human dynamic and an expression of basic goodness.  Using the label ”lonliness” implies that there is something wrong that requires fixing. Being alone isn’t a problem, in fact, it seems to be an amazing oppourtunity to take some time to create space in our lives.  So let us all dance in expanse of spacious mind and breathe the fresh air of the feminine principle.

The Reflection is Empty…isn’t it?

Similar experience to Gregor’s a couple of days ago.

I’m sitting this morning in my hotel room in TN trying to meditate.  Sometimes it’s difficult to sit in a hotel, but other times it’s easy.  This morning was difficult.  I was getting pretty frustrated until I looked up and noticed the reflection of my head in the mirror behind the dresser I was facing.  I hadn’t even noticed the mirror, let alone my reflection.

I began contemplating how that reflection was not really me.  Even though when I moved, twitched, and contorted my face  it followed.  I still KNEW that it wasn’t really me.  I then moved my attention to: “Is what is being reflected really ME, either?”.  Is my concept of myself any more real than the reflection I was seeing?  I contemplated this for a few more minutes until I had to get ready for a meeting.

I guess it was a good sit after all….

Discontent

Discontent is often on my mind, or often is my mind.  This story  of “should be” never seems to stop.  One day during walking meditation I started talking to myself about feeling the carpet, right foot left foot, whatever, and contentment jumped in there somewhere.  Contentment asked “Do you ever just walk?” I realized that if I could let go of the voice of the teqnique coach that I would still be walking, simply walking.  I realized that the coaches voice was an expression of my own dicontent.  So I walked. My heart broke as gentleness let my mind rest on the walking.  My heart broke as the one thing that I was using to make myself good enough was released.  Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche says in the Sacred Path of the Warrior that the present is experienced through a tender heart.  Now, returning to work from vacation discontent rears its head all around.  So I’m challenged to let go of my discontent and rest like a tiger sitting in the warmth of the Great Eastern Sun.

Facing my Shadow

 

I sat Zazen this morning facing the wall with my back to the window.     As the sun beamed into the room my outline was traced on the wall before me. . .

flying

I’ve been thinking a lot about my bodhisattva vows lately. Imagining ending the suffering of all beings is a powerful practice.

I was flying home from Kansas City a few weeks ago and was getting a bit agitated from thoughts of my plane’s engine failing. My attachment to my body was rearing its strength. It wasn’t until the last quarter of my flight that I began wishing for the wellbeing of all. This was a powerful antidote to my selfish worries.

I have been quite agitated in general lately due to the usual problems of life. Wishing the wellness of seems to be helping quite a bit.

Meditation is not the problem

Really. Its not a problem to solve or something to figure out.

By sitting it’ll work itself out, by not sitting we are wasting our precious time. Human birth is a rare and special thing, that I hope not to squander.

I think I may have figured this out. . .

I want to improve my meditation practice. Well, I think I may have stumbled onto the big secret of sitting practice.

You just gotta sit, get on the cushion and do it. Don’t think about it, don’t do anything but sit twice a day if possible.

Zen practitioners have a great point about Zazen – - SIT!!! That’s all we really need to know about perfecting our meditation practice. The sitting will teach the rest.

Ambition

Hello sitters.
Sorry for my extended silence. Graduate school, full time work and life have crowded out any energy or inspiration for blogging. Fortunately, life has again returned to a nice stroll.

My sits keep sitting although my brain has been bubbling with ambition and dreams. I responded by tightening my practice by closing my eyes (the Shambhala tradition meditates with eyes open) and strictly following my breath. I am amazed at the mental storms that can happen in meditation. So much noise and agitation arise every so often. I suppose this is karma rising up for me to release.

Fully Present on A Saturday Morning

Towards the end of my meditation session on Saturday at the Shambhala Center, I had a very real experience where I felt 100% present in the moment.  Unlike other experiences, this one lasted for several minutes.  My body felt very heavy, very grounded in my seat.  I very much felt my connection with the earth.  I became VERY aware of all that was around me without attaching anything to it.  I felt like I was just suspended in space and time…just fully present.  It was almost as if I was in the environment, but not participating in the environment.  I was using a technique where your breath anchors you, but your awareness is on your environment.  You notice your surroundings (sights, smell, physical sensations, sounds, etc.), but still treat them with a ‘touch and go’.

Of course as soon as I realized this I noticed that I was not longer really ‘meditating’, but rather analyzing the situation.  Fortunately I was able to get right back into this state for the remainder of the session.  Too bad 10am rolled around and it was time for me to hit the bell to end the session.  This is definitely the deepest I have gotten into samadhi that I know of.  It may not happen again for a while, but I fell very fortunate to have even experienced this at least once for a short period of time.