Waves of practice

Sometimes it seems like there is so much time to practice, and then suddenly you can’t find time to sit.  It puts you in a situation where meditation in action is all that you have.  Bringing the mind home during work is a challenge.  Yesterday I was teaching a group of people and right in the middle of the whole thing I realized how completely gone my mind was. dot. I stopped and was a little embarassed, but no one in the class noticed my little mental hiccup. I often have to travel from my office to the other end of the building which is about a 250 yard walk.  I like to use this time to do a little walking yoga to get back into my body. This is the way my practice has been the last couple of weeks and it can be pretty joyful.

I Will Sit Tonight

I have been doing a rather poor job of sticking to the meditation program.

I will however be sitting tonight, gonna fight the good fight and not beat myself up over my lack of discipline.  I am making some other huge changes right now and am happy with my practice.   But, I know I can do better.

For starters, I will sit tonight.   We’ll let the other moments take care of themselves.

Hiking

Didn’t get to sit yesterday. It was my wife and I’s anniversary so we were out almost all day. We went to Raven Run for a two-hour hike. There were times when I tried to rest in the tranquility of the moment. Other times I tried to make it a walking meditation when the trail was somewhat flat and there was less danger of tripping or turning an ankle. When we got to the river, I took the opportunity to spend a couple of minutes just being there. Not thinking. Not focusing on breath. Not chanting or reciting a mantra. Just being. It was wonderful!

Sitting with Chaos

I skipped my meditation practice last night. The home was rather hectic and I could not seem to find the time or place to sit.

The previous night I managed to sit despite the same situation. It all-right to sit amidst a bit of chaos, I think it can actually serve to strengthen your practice.

No excuses allowed tonight.

curious

Another mysterious day. I often think of meditation as the act of inducing curiosity. A good day is one spent curious.

sweet

Sleep was so sweet this morning.  I just barely got up in time for a thirty minute sit.  Aspiring to be generous, patient, and disciplined.

Quote

This is a quote I read recently in Chogyam Trungpa’s Book ‘Meditation in Action”:

“Since Buddha-nature pervades all beings there is no such thing as an unsuitable candidate.”

I believe he was quoting a scripture. This sentence has really stuck with me since I read it. Not only does it remind me to see basic goodness in others, but also helps me see it in myself. Like many folks, I can be gentle with others, but less so with myself. I have every right to be on the cushion and follow this path; as much right as any other being who ever has or ever will follow the dharma. It really helps me from beating myself over the head. I think this is a great quote to contemplate while cultivating altruism or bodhichitta.

Anyway, I just thought I would share it with you all.

Short Sit Last Night

I also sat last night for about fifteen minutes before going to bed.  I wanted to sit longer, but fifteen was better than none.  I also did the ‘Buddho’ meditation for part of the time.  Right now I am working on an ‘open’ technique where you focus about 25% of your attention on your breath and 75% on your environment (sights, sounds, physical sensations, smells, etc.).  You observe this without following any sensation or applying a concept to it.  The idea is to notice your environment without getting caught up in it or your thoughts about it.  It is quite challenging because since we are relying less on our breath for focus, the opportunity for distraction or to get caught up in our discursive thoughts is greater.
Since the breath is still the anchor for this technique I usually begin by focusing 100% on my breath prior to moving on to the open technique.  Last night I used the ‘Buddho’ mantra to help me with this and found I could focus my mind relatively quickly in this manner.  I am planning on spending more time with this today during a longer sitting session.

10 pm Renunciation

I sat last night prior to going to bed.

I had decided to sit for thirty minutes setting an intention to work through the difficulty and keep my mind centered on renunciation. No thoughts of expectations, not giving any care to the time or other things going on in my head.

I don’t count my breath. Instead I use the Buddho mantra to focus my concentration. Saying “Bud” to myself with the in-breath and “dho” at the out breath.

I struggled at first. Fidgeting with my posture, unable to focus.

After a few minutes I managed to settle down into my mantra and placed my awareness at the tip of my noise with a relaxed gaze. At this point I was able to enter into samadhi. The rest of the time passed with such ease that I never gave thought to the buzzer until I heard it ringing.

Moral of the Story – Hard work pays off on the cushion. Just work through the hard times and eventually through effort things will improve, don’t focus on results. Instead focus on renunciation, it is its own reward.

First Nyinthun

Yesterday I sat in my first Nyinthun, a three-hour chanting, sitting, walking practice.  I have been very inconsistent in my practice lately and was hoping to kickstart it with the Nyinthun.  It was glorious and agonizing at the same time.  The first hour or so was fine.  The next 45 minutes was sheer agony.  The last hour or so was wonderful – probably because I relaxed into it. 

I wake up everymorning with the best of intentions for sitting, but I keep myself from doing it somehow.  I am definitely letting life (myself?) get in my way.  I would like to sit for 60 minutes a day if possible (even if it is broken into two 30-minute sessions).  I’m doing my best to be gentle with myself.  I figure every time I sit I am giving myself an opportunity to start over again.  Another thing I am doing is mindfully being thankful for the opportunity to sit…to be bored…to be sore…to work with my mind…to possibly achieve enlightenment either in this life or a future life.  I try to be thankful for Buddha Shakyamuni and the universe for teaching us the wonderful gift of the dharma. 

Following the path of the dharma includes both study and practice.  I do fine on the study portion, but have to work on not neglecting my practice.